Tuesday, July 28, 2015


I have plans for this thing.  I still love the idea of blogging, but it just doesn't seem to make it's way into my routine very often.  And now while my life is becoming even busier it seems even more unlikely to become a regular thing for me.  I will figure something out. 

Thursday, January 15, 2015

So it's been a year

2014 sucked.  2015 is off to a crap start.  I didn't do much of note in 2014.  I didn't blog, I didn't paint as much as I wanted and drew less than I should.  I worked.  And I'm not sure what for. 

The last few months have felt like a precipice.  I'm dangling.  Each new piece of news is the line stretching a bit further.  I almost want it to snap.

I hadn't even really realized that I hadn't written in a year.  I told a customer about this blog.  It made me actually come look at it.  I'm a self-adsorbed bitch.  I'll blog more this year if only because it will be an interesting one.  With the way the rope is stretching it can't be anything else.  And I need to DO something.   I'll implode if I can't make something real.  Even if it is nothing but more self-adsorbed bull shit.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

The Amy Glass article and Facebook Woes

I'm not much for Facebook in general and I don't have a huge friends list.  I also really big in streamlining things, so when I saw the advice somewhere to unfriend anyone who puts up any of that annoying crap that you don't want to look at, delete them.

I quickly realized I would only be left with one friend and he never posts anything.  Ever.

But I was tempted to unfriend a group of people when this popped up.
I found the comments of people I considered friends (OK, vague acquaintances) to be so ridiculous I almost had an existential crisis.

No, populating the planet isn't important.  And is that really how you see yourself and other mothers?  As preforming a civic duty to...something, by popping out babies?

Now I know my opinion isn't very popular, but I don't think that continuing the human race is very important.  I could spend hours writing out my own personal theology and thought process on this, but I'll save it for later.  It boils down to, 'we aren't special or noticeably important in anyway, so if we cease to exist or continue to do so, it doesn't seem to matter, with current evidence.'

Now, that doesn't mean I want people to drop dead.  I actually don't know how the two equate, but that's where most people go.

I also don't understand people's drive to procreate.  I find the whole thing horribly disgusting, but I respect others enjoyment of it.  Whatever.  But if I ever dare to ask why people want kids, no one seems to be able to answer me.  They usually come back with something like, 'you'll understand one day' which is so fucking condescending I can't stand it, or, 'why don't you ask your mother that?  Aren't you glad she wanted kids?'  I did ask my mom.  Even though she hadn't wanted to get pregnant and I was an accident, the real reason she had me was she didn't want to get an abortion.  That's it.  And not I'm not particularity glad she decided to have me.  I'm completely neutral on the subject.  She did, I'm here, I'm making the best of it.  If she hadn't I wouldn't care either, cause I would have never existed.

I guess the thing it comes down to is that I don't understand other peoples emotions.  And they seem to get mad at me for not understanding.  Which could be a positive evolutionary trait.  (cause me not wanting to breed isn't a dead giveaway that I'm an evolutionary dead end. lol)

The first reply also really pisses me off.  Having babies is just as easy as getting knocked up.  That plus gestation and birth.  But those could reasonably be lumped together.  There are millions of 'mothers' right now to prove that it is easy to have lots of babies.  Now raising children?  That is up for debate.  It can be really work intensive, or not.  It's like the education process, the more you put in the more you get out.  Meh.

Third comment.  I sorta already addressed this, but I want to be through.  Ms. Glass wouldn't care if her mother had had these same ideas and decided against children.  Because then Ms. Glass wouldn't exist.  I really don't understand what the point of this argument is other than to be cheaply hurtful.  It's about the same as someone saying, 'Die' in a sulky tone, and thinking they are clever.  Yawn.

The one who non-judges after non-reading.  How can you even from an opinion on something without experiencing it?  "Oh, I hate tomatoes, they taste terrible."  "Have you ever tried them?"  "No, but the name sounds bad, so they must taste bad."

And the last one.  Oh my god.  Can you get over yourself for five minutes and quit your projecting?  Ya know this one, could be the hardest to argue with.  It really could be true, and it sounds so reasonable.  And because normal people think this way, she must be abnormal to go against it.  Poor little lamb, we should feel sorry for her because she is obviously broken.

Gag me with a spoon.  

Wednesday, January 29, 2014


I want to share it with you.

This radiant sun inside me.

Because you are the most important person in the world and you deserve this.

This thing that you miss, while I have it.

And I can't help but love it.

That it is mine and even though I would give it to you in a heartbeat, I don't have that choice.

I cannot share it.

I cannot give it.

I can only place you as much like me as can be seen, and hope.

Hope that one day I will see the sun shine from your eyes, instead of reflecting from mine.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

fascinating grotesque caricatures and copy/steal rant

Works that are horrifying in the depiction of beauty aids. The details are startling.

With a website that is painfully annoying.  Right-click not available my ass.   please-dont-steal.png my ass.  Don't want you shit COPIED?  Burn it.  I hatehatehatehate this propagandist attitude.  The lack of thought into it is disgraceful.  Artists tend to be the anti-establishment bunch, its very disappointing to see them buying this bullshit, hook line and sinker, condemning themselves to a slow creative death. They more than most should be familiar with the politics regarding these issues. 

The paintings however are fabulous.

And Gross.

I almost didn't write after visting her website.  That right click bullshit pissed me off so much.

The whole stealing vs copying thing really bothers me.  I didn't even realize how much it did till Sophie (Small Wonders) on Youtube.com put up a video about it.

Her attitude and opinion on the whole thing actually made it to where I can't use her videos anymore.  Ruined my tingles.  Have had trouble with my ASMR since.  Suck.

Friday, December 13, 2013

So how much can I gush about this?

The music is awesome, and I loved the video!

It's so great to see something mainstream handling sex in such a beautiful manner.  I don't think there is anything wrong with raunchy, but there is so much of it. 

This though, this.  The dance is sensual, emotional, and sexy without effort or cheap tricks.   Even the looks on the dancers faces! Especially here, at 2:24, the guy dancer's face!  I want someone to look at me that way!

The use of color also really adds to the sensuality of it as well, the opposites red and blue.  Both the universal contexts of the colors and the indicated associations within the video bring amazing depth to the interactions.  The warring and mating of hot/cold, happy/sad, excited/relaxed mixes so well with the plaintive lyrics.  That feeling of wanting so much, but not wanting to pressure or sound desperate.  Contradictions and suspense.  Hayley's voice is also reflecting this, desperate, excited, exasperated, and hopeful throughout, illustrating the inner turmoil that usually comes with such a loaded question.

I love it.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

This came up in my feed...


And I find it absolutely, ridiculously silly.  I wish this was a joke.  LOL.

Digital art has a venue, DeviantArt, Behance, Society6.  This attempt I see little merit in.  I dislike the precedent.  Digital is copyable.  They can impose whatever safeguards they like, but data like this is not exclusive.  So for exclusivity they are relying on legislature like the Digital Millennium Copyright Act.  It's wrong.